FEAR FOR WHO?

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I turn 23 today if you asked me 10 years ago what I’d be doing at 23 I would have written down a list and given it to you with so much confidence. I love how with years I have developed into an amazing person and am able to do a lot of things on my own many are not privileged to.

Have you ever noticed between the ages of 0-18 we do things for mum and dad? You take up piano classes at school because mum said it’s good for you. You pick all sciences in high school because Dad says you will make a fine medical doctor. The irony is that when they are helping us make this decisions the tag line is usually  ”remember your doing it for yourself, not me.” After giving you a million ultimatums. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my parents efforts, I always will. I just came to realize those were 18 years of fear. Fear of disappointing my parents, fear of being the joke of the family, fear of putting my family name on the map where it can be recognized.

By the time we join campus we gasp and realize “oh my God you mean I have wings that I can use to fly all by myself.” This feeling is usually fascinating and I love the process of self-discovery. You learn so much about yourself from the simple things to the complex ones. Then by your third year you lose yourself a little and you start to look back at the choices you made, you start wishing you could go back to your naïve days. You miss dad and mum always being on your case.

If you are okay with the choices you made it doesn’t bother you until your left with only one paper for you to become an undergraduate and unemployed at the same time. You look back and you friends/classmates seem to have it all figured out, they have jobs some have families others have even invested in both current and fixed assets while all you have is a better wardrobe.

If you feel I have spoken to you directly, close your eyes and say “F**K YOU FEAR.” Keep repeating these three words until you finally start believing it. Add it into your everyday vocabulary until its sticks.

I start 23 without fear and urge you to do the same. You want to start a YouTube channel go ahead. You want to get onto a relationship tell your significant other. Stop making decisions or denying yourself opportunities because of what other people will say or think. Fear and Faith do not coexist so choose one. I go with Faith I guess that’s why my mama stuck with the name. Don’t give fear a chance it will really destroy you.

Love Love Love

FaithyAchy

 

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Hiding behind ‘Self Expression’

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I love how at this time and age people are not afraid to show who they really are and what they believe in. Social media has come in handy in that it has given many a platform to air their views to the rest of the world without necessarily having to stand in front of a big crowd.

We express ourselves through clothes, hairstyles, opinions you name it but to some extent I feel we are using this as an excuse to justify immoral behavior. One of my favorite people once told me, “Dress how you want to be addressed”. The first thing people see when you walk into a room is what you came covered in and their perception of you starts from there.

My generation is a culprit of using this excuse. You get high and act irresponsible in front of a big crowd you say people are not understanding you, you’re just trying to express yourself. You put your boobs out going for a job interview hopping the interviewer will be a man so that you can use the power of seduction on him you still call that self-expression. We have normalized ratchet behavior among young girls and we still call that self-expression. Am a little confused here so what is really self-expression?

What happened to the days where we were all encouraged to learn how to speak our minds in a respectful way and have the facts. Days where before you said or did anything you thought through a couple of the factors surrounding you. I understand that things evolve with time but as we evolve let’s not forget to do the right thing. Choose your way of life and stick by it. This idea of only going with a certain flow when it only justifies your immediate action doesn’t make sense.

Make a choice and live accordingly. If being ratchet is what you have decided stick with it, this idea of choosing to go a certain direction when it favors you is lying to yourself. Let’s redefine self-expression and think twice before choosing a method of self-expression.

Be careful what you put out there especially online the human mind might forget but the internet never does.

Love Love Love

FaithyAchy

Be the right person.

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I have dedicated January to be the month of SELF. Self-realization, self-appreciation and to be content with yourself are some of the values am trying to preach. The above quote on my picture is really deep and I wish more people could just stop for a moment and ask themselves if they are really working towards being the right person.

Growing up my mother has always told me to always try and be the best version of myself so that I can be the right wife for my future husband, the right mother for my children etc. But I really wonder if my future husband is being groomed somewhere so that he can also be the right husband and father. Society victimizes women who are not married and haven’t started a family by 30, but my question is are we also raising husbands for our daughters. So much focus is put on the girl child by the women but what are the men doing about the boy child. Remember you cannot become what you don’t see. It has to be first hand.

Before you rant that this city doesn’t have good men or women, ask yourself if you pass as someone else right person. Seeking happiness and validation from other people is the fastest way to break yourself. So if the person you depend on for validation is having a bad day and decides that today  you’re an asshole, do you become one until she/he decides otherwise?

Make yourself your personal project, work on yourself until you are fully satisfied that what you have spent time gaining cannot be taken away from you easily. That’s what it means to be content with yourself. Let no mere comments and peoples selfish needs  bring down the empire you have spent decades building. Build yourself to the point when someone comes into your life you are able to build each other and when they decide to leave you are able to be your own self.

Define your character so that it can be uniquely identified to you and strive to be the right person. Never give up on yourself your all you have got.

Love Love Love

FaithyAchy

Having your own back.

img_20170114_150319.jpg Today i finally went for my first yoga class, you know this year i decided i will do three things that includes; yoga , read books and grow. A former workmate who turned into a sister introduced me to the donation classes at the Africa Yoga Project and from that day i have never looked back. You know how people think Yoga is boring that you just go sit with your legs crossed on the mat and say “ummmmm” well am taking this opportunity to invite you just for one class so that you can see for yourself and experience the magical experience. Yoga is all about trusting yourself, trusting that your body can stretch beyond what you imagined and still be able to hold you. Today am talking about self trust, listening to your gut, being comfortable with your own company.

One day i went to Java i was meeting a friend, as i was waiting i noticed a young lady seated at the corner with her laptop, a notebook and a pen going about her business like nothing else existed around her. I really admired that lady and i told myself i cant wait for the day i will be able to do that and be comfortable with myself. Most of the times when we are alone we start to look for places to go and people to go with. Its not a bad thing but sometimes we have to learn to love our own company. Find something you love doing alone that is legal. Do it once in a while and just take time to enjoy yourself.Live in that moment.

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I have come to realize when you thoroughly enjoy your own company then you find it easier enjoying that of others. It all starts at home and home is where the heart is. Another thing people really overlook is listening to their gut. Have you ever been in a situation where you know for sure that you don’t need/want a particular item but you end up buying because of the million ‘what if’s ‘ running through your mind? I have and most of the times i end up not using the item or i place it somewhere and totally forget about it. Trusting your gut gets you a long way it helps when making both small and big decisions in your life. This year at least lets trust ourselves a little more, if people don’t agree with our choices then that’s up to them.

If you listen to no one this year at least listen to yourself. We are our own enemies at the same time our own best friends. Stop going far to look for what is within you.

Love love love

FaithyAchy

Inner Strength.

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Am at that point in my life where  i want to be at least 80% self sufficient emotionally. I really admire those who are able to pick themselves up without having to necessarily cause drama. Last year i was able to learn how to generate inner strength and to actually share it with people. I found it in giving love and caring for people. Believing in the good and having Faith that everything will be okay are what kept me alive.

Today i want to share this lesson with you and to encourage you to find your own inner strength as it will help you over come a lot of obstacles life throws your way. I know how it feels when you loose touch with your soul and loosing sight of your dream, its one of the darkest phase a human being can go through. It feels frustrating and depressing but you can easily get your self back if you choose to use your inner strength.

Finding your inner strength can be easy if you just find something that gives you hope and hold on to it tightly. It could be a person, a situation or a deed. Whatever it is use it, you will not feel the impact the first time but as you keep on using it you will just see it. I dint know giving love gave me so much fulfillment until one day i was going through a painful situation and noticed every time i showed an act of love i found hope in my heart and found a way to light my way out of the dark.

You will crush down but please don’t crumble because you will get through the pain. Just keep up with the Faith it will keep you alive, remember your were not build to break because you have immense inner strength.

Love Love Love

FaithyAchy

 

The Beginning

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For Christmas my parents decided we were going to spend it  in upcountry, at first i wasn’t for the idea but once we were there i slowly started appreciating it. My parents had gifted me with the time away from life distractions to reflect and just enjoy ‘me time’. Not all the seven days were epic but the day we went sight seeing was the best looking at the beautiful sunset with my family was the best. Hence that beautiful picture.

I don’t  know if this works for you but for me a good view is all i need to crown my day. With this beautiful view in front of me and the amazing sound of waves from the lake i was able to make peace with 2016. 2016 was a great year for me i met amazing people who have become part of my life. I learned that in life am not obligated to please people other than myself. But my greatest lesson was GRATITUDE. Always be grateful for the moment you have, for what you have is what your sure of.

Now that a new year has been granted to us it simply means its the beginning of writing new stories, the beginning of new opportunities. This is the time to find yourself again in case you felt lost. This is your beginning and no one has power over that other than your and the man above. The canvas is blank, make your master piece.

Love Love Love

FaithyAchy

Sisters are soul mates 2016.

Sisters are not only those who are blood related to you these are also those women who are there for you and genuinely love you for who you are. Personally I think when women are there for each other then they create a strong powerful union that no one can break. Growing up I always liked hanging out with people a little older than I was. I know many people will condemn me for this but I did it because it gave me a positive influence. Seeing what they went through, the choices they made always gave me a heads up on what to expect in my older years. I learned from their mistakes, set my bar higher with their success and learned that love was the greatest gift we could give each other as women. So today I will celebrate eight sisters who made 2016 count for me. They are between the ages of 24-30.

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Mitchelle Ayoro Osok

I stole your hashtag mami LOL but the love you have shown me is great. Always nudging me to exceed my expectations, to carry myself like a lady. You have taught me to stay true to myself and never settle, this journey of life has no destination. Whenever you think you have arrived, you yearn for more. You have taught me to never be afraid to express my true self and to never apologize for whom I am.  Stay blessed my sister.

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Ayodeji Mwongeli

You opened your arms and taught me tirelessly what the corporate world entails. In a field dominated by men you showed me we women can do exactly the same as they do if not better than them. That’s a lesson I will never forget.” When you feel you’re becoming too comfortable and not challenged start looking for a different environment” these words still stick with me to date. You have shown me that a woman should not limit herself or else she becomes her own enemy. God bless you kind heart.

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Effie Kissiu

Always giving me lessons of life which have come in handy all through this year. You taught me age doesn’t define maturity and that you have to be strong for yourself first otherwise people will just come and step over you. I admire your relationship with God you make it look so cool and easy. You have been there since I was born to pick me up anytime I fell and I truly appreciate that always. You have taught me that family always comes first and when I start my own I will never forget that. Thank you for always opening your house for me. Sisters are always soul mates.

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Fiona Odhiambo.

I really miss you big sister in my list you are the youngest person I know who has accomplished so much. Congratulations on your master’s graduation, so proud of you. You have taught me stop at nothing, when you can still grab it with both your hands. This long distance relationship has been hard but the strongest. May the almighty always shine his blessings your way.

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Damaris Mukulu

My sunshine, every day in the office was worthwhile because of you. You always challenged me to try other things other than those in my comfort zone  and as we figured out some just came naturally.  I admire how you are so self-driven and good at everything you put your hands on. Thank you for introducing me to your amazing world and showing me that girl power is all that we need. You really are a crazier version of myself. I love you my sunshine. Keep up with you baking business true definition of turning passion into profits. See you in the next yoga class.

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Sisley Kinyua

Mami you are so charismatic and your bubbly nature is the best thing a sister could ask for on any day. You taught me not to rush my social life some things are more important than others. Your always checking on me to see if am on the right track, I truly appreciate that. I love how being a mother doesn’t stop you from having fun and  being adventurous, that I will carry into my mummy days. Always praying for you and your family my sister stay blessed.

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Edna Omol

OMG you are the most interesting person I have met this year. Stopping at nothing and showing me that it’s okay to be different as long as your being yourself and not living a lie then your good to go. Thank you for being my friend and showing me that you don’t have to stop anything. Still looking forward to our shooting range adventure and mann don’t I miss hugging a tall person every day before we start the day. Stay blessed my sister and stay interesting it looks good on you.

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Dorothy Ochieng’

You have shown me you can have it all if you put your head in the game. I admire how you have things put together and have always shown me sister love ever since I was a baby in school. I remember how you used to hold our hands crossing the road after alighting from the school bus. How you ensured we were never left by the bus not because someone gave you that responsibility but because you considered Sarah and I your baby sisters. Thank you for always remembering to check up on me and applauding my little mile stones in life.

Love Love Love

FaithyAchy