I know I’ve been mute for a while and to be honest I think am just getting a hang of this stage of my life. Where I can literally count the number of days until I stop calling myself a university student. It’s finally happening guys am finally feeling the growing up and mann!! Isn’t it scary and exciting at the same time.
Every day I walk to the stage to go board a matatu to school I usually pass this old cobbler reading his pocked bible with tattered pages as he waits for his customers. The first time I saw this I stopped and stare because I truly was amazed. Thank God I wasn’t caught staring sheepishly. He looked happy and peaceful, and I truly envied that. Most of us relate peace and happiness with being materially wealthy, but this cobbler was a literal example that our levels of satisfactions, peace and happiness are different.
For you maybe being the C.E.O of your company and investing in assets is what makes you happy but for another person reading his bible and having a meal with his family is all he needs. Learn to find what is uniquely designed for you. Just because spas and travelling makes you best friend happy and feel at peace that doesn’t mean it will work for you.
Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”
Spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place,”
Love Love Love
For many this is impossible. To honestly forgive someone and truly mean it without holding any grudges. Grudges are like curses that are hard to break, and once this curse is broken that is through forgiveness we have a glorious feeling inside. Now forgives and reconciliation are two different things. You can decide to forgive but not to reconcile.
I know that amazing feeling when you and your partner decide to start a life together. At the genesis of the relationship we all make promises. Some of us even write them down and read them out to each other in the presence of our loved ones, but as life progresses things don’t always seem to work out that way.
Death does the same thing, it robs us off our loved ones. This is the most painful experience, it takes you to your darkest places. Places you never thought existed. You question so many things religion included. Sometimes it even turns you from a believer to a non-believer. Although here the reconciliation seems impossible it is possible. And here you reconcile with yourself. You come to terms with reality and soldier on with what you have.
Friends and family disappoint too. Some even reap your heart into half ruthlessly. The thought of you and them sharing a common space or even breathing in the same oxygen is just impossible.
You can force yourself to forgive but not reconcile. Forgiving people always shows you’re the bigger person, but reconciliation gives you peace of mind. Don’t force it if you don’t believe in it, but give it a try what have you got to loose?
Love Love Love
I remember finishing my home science paper which was the last time I was in school uniform and the last time I saw some of the friends I considered close. By the way what usually happens? How can we be best friends for four years then once we all go our separate ways we become total strangers. Was it just for convenience or were we using each other without even knowing? Or was it just a societal norm?
And now I can feel like it’s happening again. I haven’t made a lot of friends in campus as I did in high school, I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. I asked one of my best friends if he still talks to his former class mates in campus, and he told me most of the friends he had must have been for convenience. You know to form groups for assignments, to hang out with as we wait for the next class.
Everyone now has realised that it’s time to move to the next phase, they are looking for jobs, going for interviews, doing their own side hustles to make money ,you name it. Some are building new relationships and trying to figure out their purpose in life. This is the point where a lot of sieving is done. You sieve those that don’t add value and bring on bored those that do.
Old childish habits are left behind and we all man up. We move from drinking drinks whose names made no sense to drinking drinks with renowned labels. Our hang out joints are more mature, we only take part in activities that make sense and can relate to us. We dress the way we would like to be addressed and we even start to vet what goes onto our social media platforms.
For me transition is painful but an eye opener, I never know if I will be that friend that will be sieved out or the habit that will be left behind.
I guess life is one big transition.
Love Love Love
On the 26th of my birthday month was the annual Safaricom Jazz festival. If there is an event am usually prepared for it’s this one. I was never a jazz fun but my perspective was changed in 2015. I always thought it was boring and most of the people who attended jazz shows were old people. But on my first show my mind was blown away. First of all I loved how Kenyans make an effort to look good for these events. Then I also was intrigued by the type of crowd present, there was no rowdiness or people pushing and shoving everyone knew what brought them there. I thought to myself this was certainly my crowd.
But what I fell in love with most is the music, I loved how each instrument was unique in its own way but when fused together such beautiful music was created. If we stop and think a little deeper this is the same analogy with life sometimes we meet different people and situations in life. But when you stop and look closely you will see how these different aspects have contributed in making you the beautiful person you are right now.
“Jazz is an attitude” this was the lesson I took home from Ray Lema a fantastic artist from the DRC. If you come to think about it too life is an attitude. Your attitude determines your perception on things. So for all of you who think Jazz is boring and all you do is sit and listen, my friend come for the next show and tell me what you think. Be ready to dance and completely lose yourself in the music.
Experience is the best teacher.
Love Love Love
It my Birthday guys #happydance. I usually take my birthday very serious ask my sister she helps me make a big deal about it. My coming into this world is a very serious thing and it must be celebrated so is yours. Can I hear an Amen!! Today I share with you my 23 lessons and things I have discovered about myself.
- Forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved, but don’t do it again.
- Stop swimming oceans for those who wouldn’t even cross the bridge for you.
- No one can come in between my relationship with food, it’s a bound made in heaven that no man can put asunder.
- Don’t talk, act. Don’t say, show. Don’t Promise, prove. In short Actions is all I need.
- Karma is indeed a bitch and bites so painfully.
- Always put yourself around good energy, learn new things. GROW.
- Stop explaining yourself they will always understand from their perception.
- Find a good strong support system it takes you very far.
- Before you go around looking for people for the right person, be the right person for you and others.
- My Faith in God does keep me alive and going.
- Opportunities are there, it’s us to look for them.
- The comeback is always stronger than the setback.
- No one is you and that’s your power.
- Stay humble always.
- Damn I can shake what my mama gave me. I dint know I could turn up pretty good.
- The secret to a good meal is good music, fresh ingredients and simple cooking tools.
- Accepting yourself the way you are is the best gift you can give yourself.
- I love my hair kinky.
- My selfie game is quite on fleek should I also do a selfie book? Lol
- You make me angry come with good music and food and the feud will be over as soon as I take the first bite.
- Music is indeed food to my soul any day any time. And I believe I can sing pretty well.
- I really value commitment. So you can imagine how I give it all when it comes to all my relationships. I love and appreciate friends and family.
- It’s never that serious take a moment and laugh at yourself.
Happy birthday to me
I turn 23 today if you asked me 10 years ago what I’d be doing at 23 I would have written down a list and given it to you with so much confidence. I love how with years I have developed into an amazing person and am able to do a lot of things on my own many are not privileged to.
Have you ever noticed between the ages of 0-18 we do things for mum and dad? You take up piano classes at school because mum said it’s good for you. You pick all sciences in high school because Dad says you will make a fine medical doctor. The irony is that when they are helping us make this decisions the tag line is usually ”remember your doing it for yourself, not me.” After giving you a million ultimatums. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my parents efforts, I always will. I just came to realize those were 18 years of fear. Fear of disappointing my parents, fear of being the joke of the family, fear of putting my family name on the map where it can be recognized.
By the time we join campus we gasp and realize “oh my God you mean I have wings that I can use to fly all by myself.” This feeling is usually fascinating and I love the process of self-discovery. You learn so much about yourself from the simple things to the complex ones. Then by your third year you lose yourself a little and you start to look back at the choices you made, you start wishing you could go back to your naïve days. You miss dad and mum always being on your case.
If you are okay with the choices you made it doesn’t bother you until your left with only one paper for you to become an undergraduate and unemployed at the same time. You look back and you friends/classmates seem to have it all figured out, they have jobs some have families others have even invested in both current and fixed assets while all you have is a better wardrobe.
If you feel I have spoken to you directly, close your eyes and say “F**K YOU FEAR.” Keep repeating these three words until you finally start believing it. Add it into your everyday vocabulary until its sticks.
I start 23 without fear and urge you to do the same. You want to start a YouTube channel go ahead. You want to get onto a relationship tell your significant other. Stop making decisions or denying yourself opportunities because of what other people will say or think. Fear and Faith do not coexist so choose one. I go with Faith I guess that’s why my mama stuck with the name. Don’t give fear a chance it will really destroy you.
Love Love Love
I love how at this time and age people are not afraid to show who they really are and what they believe in. Social media has come in handy in that it has given many a platform to air their views to the rest of the world without necessarily having to stand in front of a big crowd.
We express ourselves through clothes, hairstyles, opinions you name it but to some extent I feel we are using this as an excuse to justify immoral behavior. One of my favorite people once told me, “Dress how you want to be addressed”. The first thing people see when you walk into a room is what you came covered in and their perception of you starts from there.
My generation is a culprit of using this excuse. You get high and act irresponsible in front of a big crowd you say people are not understanding you, you’re just trying to express yourself. You put your boobs out going for a job interview hopping the interviewer will be a man so that you can use the power of seduction on him you still call that self-expression. We have normalized ratchet behavior among young girls and we still call that self-expression. Am a little confused here so what is really self-expression?
What happened to the days where we were all encouraged to learn how to speak our minds in a respectful way and have the facts. Days where before you said or did anything you thought through a couple of the factors surrounding you. I understand that things evolve with time but as we evolve let’s not forget to do the right thing. Choose your way of life and stick by it. This idea of only going with a certain flow when it only justifies your immediate action doesn’t make sense.
Make a choice and live accordingly. If being ratchet is what you have decided stick with it, this idea of choosing to go a certain direction when it favors you is lying to yourself. Let’s redefine self-expression and think twice before choosing a method of self-expression.
Be careful what you put out there especially online the human mind might forget but the internet never does.
Love Love Love