Mann the silence in this room is so loud, but that’s how i like it sometimes especially after having a long day. You know when I signed up for this blogging Job I had no idea it would be this tough sometimes. Sometimes my mind is inclined to just tell the good stories about myself and life experiences, but I have come to realize that when you decide to share your story with the world you share everything and try to be as real as you can.
This week has been one of the hardest week I have ever been through. You see that beautiful smile up there was what I had been looking for the whole week. For some time now I have been going back and forth the choices I have made and their consequences and I kid you not they’ve been haunting me every single minute. I feel locked up, like I can’t breathe. I feel like am in a dark room with a projection of a video of my bad choices playing over and over again.
Every morning I wake up feeling like today will be different, like I can conquer my fears then the video starts to play all over again in my head. It’s like am having a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. This is really freaking me out how can I get out? Am trying to inject some positive thoughts to pray a little more but I feel like they are not working fast enough.
Am locked up in my mind but every other part of my body is functioning just fine. Is this the work of the devil or do we just like to blame the devil for everything when things don’t work on our favor? I feel so disappointed by the people I love or maybe its cause am expecting too much from them.
A good friend of mine told me to hold me to hit the breaks in my car (life) and to trust Gods speed so that’s what am currently surviving on and I pray it works out. Have you ever been in such a state of mind and how were you able to get out? It would be nice to hear from you in the comment section.
LOVE LOVE LOVE