Playing wife at 19…

Three years ago i partially moved from home for campus i usually say partially cause most of the weekends am home enjoying the home food,good company and of course the WIFI.I remember being given strict budgeting guidelines and how to take care of myself by my parents. I could tell they dint want me to go but they had no choice, for them it was too early for me to go start taking care of myself partially. You know i moved from planned meal plans to planning my own meals,from having a curfew to having none and the scariest for me was sleeping in a house alone when i was used to making stories with my sister until we fell asleep.

The first place i stayed i noticed a trend, many of my neighbors lived as a couple at first i was like, those must be fourth years or young graduate couples who are just starting life. So this dint bother me much until months later when i noticed those neighbors were my classmates or friends of friends(you know 18 & 19 year old girls and boys). By that time i had memorized certain faces for the sake of not always walking into the wrong class and sitting in through without realizing (PS. this usually happens to every first year especially when doing a course from a common faculty).

For me this was shocking in my head i always asked myself ‘ why torture yourself at 19, you moved out of your parents house with so much zeal to come and enjoy your new freedom.’ Here nobody is supposed to tells you what to cook or when to do the dishes. But all this freedom changes once you move in with someone. Boundaries have to be set for you to be able to accommodate each other, otherwise every single day will be war.

The worst days were the days when your woken up in the middle of the night by screams from your neighbors house.When you listen keenly you here the girl(wife) is being beaten up thoroughly for some stupid reason. This was sad, since when did we give men the power to lay there hands on us at just 19.The funny thing is that no one ever went to the rescue of the girl, The boys used to cheer  from outside and the girls locked themselves inside their houses.

This is just an example of the many stories of those who play wife at 19 in campus. In most cases this husband and wife game in campus usually has four ending; you either become a single mama with an unfinished degree, a sexually transmitted disease(s), an “all men are dogs”attitude, brutal scars both physical and emotional to remind you everyday of the choices you made.

Why would you want to take up the responsibility of your mother at just 19 years? Why would you settle for a bedsitter, the size of the bedroom you left home to play wife in? Why do you give your power to a man at just 19? These are some of the questions i need answers to. Three years later and i still don’t understand why you leave home to play your mothers role with someone who will barely remember your name in the next few years.

“Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve”


Love love



6 thoughts on “Playing wife at 19…

  1. This article can be likened or equated to a cha mama na cha baba or kalongo longo kids game, only that in this case, 18-19 year olds are the main participants( role reversal) of which in most cases, the end result is a screwed up life and a disfigured face due to hot porridge burns..Nothing serious ever comes out of such an arrangement but a pathetic life.


  2. It’s sad. And for that we need friends who will snap us out of this ‘acceptance of this kind of situation.’


  3. Thats a very sorry state of affairs but the thing is, we live in a dynamic world where things happen spontaneously and sometimes reasoning with the heart does not apply and if the person can’t be helped, then its too bad because the world and nasty experiences will prove to be a costly affair.


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