Overcoming my fears.

This is one of those days in my life that will stick in my memory lane for life. It was my first week at work,my first professional team building,my first time to per take in an adventure I only so on amazing race and the internet -zip lining.

If you know me well I can be risk averse in certain things especially things that cause me anxiety like riding a bike,driving a car,swimming in very deep waters. It’s an art I have been trying to perfect as time goes by. Usually I need a little push from my loved ones especially my sister she knows how stubborn I can get.

Fear of heights is one of them and on this day I had a positive mind set that I was going to conquer this fear. So it was time to do it…yaaahh finally thats what came out of my mouth but on my mind all I thought was if I was going to fall down would I die in the air…oooh my God .. ooohh my God…trust me I was even going to confess my sins before going up that pole.

The first people to go were so nervous they kept on screaming the whole time, that really brought a cold chill down my spine. Funny thing is we kept on laughing at them and making fun. Little did I know that was going to be me up there. So one of my colleagues kevin volunteered to go next and I decided to partner with him cause he looked pretty confident.

He went up the pole first and I was meant to follow next when he reached a certain point. Going up the pole was not the task, walking across the line was. Walking on that line all I thought about were the things I hadn’t done because of fear and I felt really bad.

I remember I reached the first pole on the line and I told Kevin I can’t do this anymore, and he really encouraged me to go on cause he was there too for some reason it gave me a  feeling of sense of safety. Up there I was on the verge of peeing on myself(embarrassing I know) but did not happen.

The best part of it all was coming down I have never felt that good on air. Lol. And I felt accomplished like I can do anything even run a country.:-).

This taught me a life lesson that risks must be taken and without them we don’t get to tell ourselves at least I tried. Better a person who tries and fails than one who never tries at all how will you know your not good at something if you don’t try.

I consider myself a pretty good singer, am that girl who sings in the bathroom and take hours in there till my siblings are now on the verge of breaking the bathroom door. A month ago one of my best friends miss Eva Othman asked me to audition for a place in the Nairobi Chambers Chorus. I was so excited cause finally I was going to use my God given gift in a bigger better platform. The day of the audition I had come down with a bad cold but I was still determined to go and try it was my only chance.

I did the audition and in my opinion I think I gave it my all for someone who was under the weather. After two days I got an e-mail telling me I did not make it. It really crushed my heart I thought that was my thing that I was a great singer and had an angelic voice, why did I not make it in?Does that mean am not a good singer did I loose my mojo?At least I tried right?

I’d rather stand tall than live on my knees cause I am a conqueror and don’t accept defeat.

Blessed day :-*